This week will mark three weeks of being in the system in India. I know for almost all families adopting from India that will seem like a drop in the bucket. Adopting from India is an unpredictable process with families getting caught up in red tape for months. I have heard of families waiting years to even receive word of a referral and that isn't including the year or more following the referral just wading through the paperwork in India prior to getting word to travel. Waiting a year or more to get a referral...
That
is
my
fear.
For those adopting families...you were there. Remember? Remember being at the very beginning of your journey and feeling overwhelmed by the steps you still had ahead of you? For me at this moment the wait seems so painfully long. It's hard not knowing when we will finally see the face of our daughter. She is not some orphan...a number...or a random child we are adopting...our "adopted child." No! She is our daughter, plain and simple. She is our daughter who is not home yet. We have a daughter who will wake up not knowing that she has a mother and father anxious to bring her home and a little brother who keeps asking about his sister. My heart aches. This is hard. But in these moments I remember that God has spoken. There were moments His voice was crystal clear. So I remember...
God always keeps his promises...
He is always at work...
God will choose to work and move how he sees fit and not according to my plans or my time frame.
And most importantly:
God
is
GOOD.
Praise Him for his goodness. I am praying that at this moment I will learn to rest in His goodness alone. With no promise of an end date to this wait...I will rest in God.
Praying for patience and rest and peace for your heart...as you wait.
ReplyDeleteA really important thing is to keep busy and set goals that are not adoption related. Really. About 40 of us were adopting at the same time from our orphanage. The wait dragged on for three years for some of us. And the hard part was, we went into it having chosen our children so we'd watch our infants become toddlers and then preschoolers apart from us. The difference in staying sane was what we were doing with our time. For those who did nothing but wait and let that consume them, it tore them apart. They were angry, depressed, railing at the system. The wait wasn't easy for the rest of us, but I wrote a couple of books during those years, and I had the advantage of already having children to focus on. I had my angry days, but I'd try accomplish other things. There were a couple of meltdowns in the Target toy section but, oh well, that got me some funny looks.
ReplyDeleteAll that being said, I hope your wait is short and your child is soon home. May the paper work just fly through the system!
The hardest part for me was the open-ended nature of the wait. With a pregnancy, there's a deadline in sight. But with adoption, you just don't know how long each step will take. I think what your friend Kathy is saying is GREAT advice . . . this time can be filled in many ways, and it is much easier if you remain focused on other things while you long for news. God bless you and keep you during these next months!
ReplyDeleteNancy
Nancy, I agree with you there! The open ended waiting is SO tough. I've definitely been trying to keep myself busy and not think and wonder when our referral will come. I'm so thrilled that you all are so close to bringing your daughter home. Wow, that must just be surreal.
DeleteHi! I found your blog through your mother-in-law's post on the mother of boys blog. We just started the adoption process to adopt our little one from India--actually just had our home study today! I'm not even liking the idea of waiting for our social worker to write up our home study report, so I'm really not looking forward to the matching--and then bringing home--waiting part. I'll definitely add you to our adoption prayer board!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! Welcome to the adopting from India family. it's always nice to have someone who is experiencing the same thing you are and can understand and relate to all of the highs and lows that come with adoption. There is a private adopting from India forum on facebook. Are you a part of that? Thanks for adding us to your adoption prayer board. Prayer is so crucial during this process.
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