Setback

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." - Psalm62:5-8

The truth of those verses has become the focus of my prayers lately. I am sure this will not be the only setback we experience in this journey but Jon and I found out some incredibly frustrating news this past week concerning our adoption plans. The India program has been temporarily closed. Just typing those words makes a knot form in my throat. Now thankfully that news is by no means an end in our journey. From what I have been told, the program could re-open as soon as February 2013 but there are no guarantees. So...we continue to wait.

There were many tears, conversations, and prayers following the unexpected news. Was this a closed door? Would I choose to believe that God's hand was moving despite the current setback? Would I see this obstacle as a way for my faith to be grown and challenged or a chance to complain and become bitter? Would I choose to praise and thank God in the midst of something I didn't understand? Now that we are a few days out I am able to see things more clearly and pray without tears.

We do not feel as if this is a closed door, although we will continue to pray for the Lord to make his will clear and we agree to walk in obedience. We sense that this is all part of the Lord's plan and that there is a real reason behind the delay. I may not know this side of eternity why after being so close to turning in our application that the program has closed but I will praise God in all things. We still see the Lord fanning the flame of India in our hearts. I don't think it was an accident that my aunt invited two complete strangers to our family Thanksgiving dinner, one of whom was of Indian descent. Nor do I think it was by chance that we found a crazy connection with a sweet Indian family my parents visited on their most recent trip to India. God is speaking. His hand is at work and although I don't understand his ways I will walk in simple faith.

May I trust You at all times! Thank you God that, despite changing circumstances, you remain the same.

I wonder...

As the time approaches for us to begin the adoption paperwork I find myself drawn more and more to articles, and blogs concerning families who have come out on the other side and are adjusting to life post adoption. I have thought a lot about how our family dynamics will change once we bring our daughter home.

I can't help but wonder what sort of challenges and struggles we will endure trying to adjust not just in the short term but years down the road. There are lots of questions and fears floating around in my head and I feel led to pray, a lot. I pray for our daughter. I pray for her protection and for God to place people in her life who even now will tell her about Jesus. I pray that deep in her heart she knows there is a family out there who loves her and is working hard to come get her. I pray for her as I think about her growing up in our family. I ask God for guidance in how to raise her and deal with difficulties that may come up as the result of her adoption. My prayers encompass my family as I ask the Lord to prepare our hearts for the road ahead as well as for the transition from one to two children. I pray for my son and that he will quickly accept a new sibling. I pray for wisdom in my speech as I talk to people about this part of my heart. I want others to see Christ in this whole story and I want to display faith in the one true God even in the midst of fears and uncertainty.

So I've been praying and reading and processing many things. If you are interested in checking out one of the blogs I have been following here is the link:

What Have We Done (To Our Family)?

This family has welcomed three older children into their home and are learning as they go. I love her heart and honesty.