Happy Dance

 I couldn't help myself with this picture!

I was too giddy for words last night. A little after 5pm our family coordinator from America World called to inform us that she registered us with the online database in India and we are now officially waiting for a referral. We could get a phone call today (highly unlikely but still...) That is just crazy!

The wait for a referral will most likely be a long one. There is just no telling what the time-frame looks like from here on out. It is a bit odd because we went from knowing the steps and how long each step would take to being in limbo. After talking with other moms adopting from India this is how things seem to pan out until the day we get word to travel. So I am rejoicing in the moment and praising the Lord that he has brought us this far. He has used you, your prayers, your giving, and your encouragement to sustain us and prepare us to bring home our little girl.

Dear friends and family, rejoice with me today because this is a major step forward. The reality of seeing a picture of our daughter drives me to work even harder to get her home. The next phase in our fundraising is actually raising money toward our travel costs. This is where it gets exciting folks. Just the thought of applying for visas and buying plane tickets brings tears to my eyes. It's getting real.

Pearl

Let me start this post by saying that I have been blessed with the world's greatest in-laws. I never really understood the in-law jokes you hear on tv and certainly have never joined in when friends speak of horror stories involving their spouse's parents. I am blessed. Not only was I welcomed into a family made up mostly of men (crazy red-heads to be exact) but my mother-in-law has welcomed me as her daughter. I do think she may have been a bit desperate for another female to keep her company.

Well, when Jon and I announced to our parents that we were adopting we knew they would be supportive but were surprised when Jon's mom, Laura, offered up a very sweet gift. Laura is a teacher and an author who loves the Lord. She recently published a book and has generously decided to give the entire proceeds to our adoption. There really are no words.

Here is a short description of the book Laura began to write years ago before Jon and I ever announced our plans.

This is a book about adoption...

and hope.

It's entitled Pearl.

The loss of a son...the memory of a daughter. A search for peace that spans two continents. Mei, a Chinese mother, loses her son in a tragic earthquake, awakening the memory of the daughter she relinquished to adoption years before. China’s One Child Policy robbed her of the infant she called Pearl, and Mei is haunted by loss. The couple learns to survive, finally emigrating to America where Mei sees little Chinese girls everywhere. Could that one be Pearl? Mei's search leads her to a peace she never knew existed. Will she find Pearl? And can she let her go?

Purchase a Copy of Pearl Here

 

Waiting Children? What does that mean?

In my last post I mentioned that we had been accepted into the India Waiting Children's program with America World. For those who may not completely understand what that means I would love to share briefly about what this decision will look like for our family.

Any child included in such a program (at least for the country of India) is a healthy child 7 + years old, sibling groups, or younger children with "special needs." The idea of special needs concerning international adoption can be very different than what we might typically consider special needs in the United States. Special needs encompasses a wide variety of issues from something as simple as a poorly placed birthmark, low birth weight to more severe needs that would require surgery like a cleft lip or palate, heart conditions, and club feet. Then there are permanent disabilities such as missing limbs, blood disorders, hearing and vision impairments...the list goes on and on.

So where exactly do we fall in all of this? Jon and I feel led very strongly to a child with some sort of special need. At this point in time we cannot say exactly what that will look like. We have already begun praying and asking the Lord to make his will clear. Along with prayer we have also started reading quite a bit of material to learn about the multitude of needs that are out there. We long to be obedient to the Lord no matter the call but right now we have no specifics. If you feel led please join us in praying for guidance in this area.

We had not originally planned to go this route, but God doesn't always work the way we think he will.  Choosing to adopt a child who is "different" may not make sense to some, but as a Christan it stirs my heart. Were we not broken before Christ came and healed us? Our helplessness may not have been visible on the outside but we were a mess, yet God chose to love us despite our brokenness and sin. Through his Spirit working in us, God has given his Church a heart for the world and for our family, that looks like this. James states that, "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." This isn't about a physical deformity or a category of care, it's about living out the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We've Been Accepted!

Is this really happening?!? I mean, I had hoped this day would come but it still seems so surreal. Last Thursday we submitted our adoption application to America World along with our application fee, family photo, and letter of intent. Today we got the news...we have been accepted into the America World family as part of the India waiting children program!! I intend on writing more on how this finally came about but for now I just wanted to share this awesomely exciting news. God has heard our prayers and has opened the door to bring our daughter home! Praise Him for granting our family the chance to show those around us his amazing faithfulness as we begin this adoption journey!  Stay tuned for more news as we bring you along for the ride. Pray for us dear friends.We have so many mixed emotions knowing that now this is actually happening. We are thrilled, terrified, anxious, thankful, and that is in no way a comprehensive list. This is gonna be crazy. God make your glory known!

Picture Made By Elisabeth

Our Adopted Identity

"Sometimes people will speak of children who've been adopted as prone to having an 'identity crisis' at some point in their lives. This isn't the case for every child, of course, but it does seem that many children who were adopted find themselves asking at some point, 'Who am I?' The Bible reveals, though, that this kind of crisis of identity isn't limited to children who've been adopted. All of us are looking to discover who we really are, whether we were born into loving homes or abandoned at orphanage doors, whether we were born into stable families or born, like our Lord in a stable...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Imagine for a moment that you're adopting a child. As you meet with the social worker in the last stage of the adoption process, you're told that this twelve-year-old has been in and out of psychotherapy since he was three. He persists in burning things and attempting repeatedly to skin kittens alive. He 'acts out sexually,' the social worker says, although she doesn't really fill you in on what that means. She continues with a little family history. This boy's father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great-grandfather all had histories of violence, ranging from spousal abuse to serial murder. Each of them ended life the same way, death by suicide - each found hanging from a rope of blankets in his respective prison cell.

Think for a minute. Would you want this child? If you did adopt him, wouldn't you keep your eye on him as he played with your other children? Would you watch him nervously as he looks at the butcher knife on the kitchen table? Would you leave the room as he watched a movie on television with your daughter, with the lights out?

Well, he's you. And he's me. That's what the gospel is telling us. Our birth father has fangs. And left to ourselves, we'll show ourselves to be as serpentine as he is.

That's why our sin ought to disturb us. The 'works of the flesh' - jealousy, envy, wrath, lust, hatred, and on and on - ought to alarm us the way a tightness in the chest would alarm a man whose father and grandfather had dropped dead at the age of forty of heart disease. It ought to scare us like forgetting the next-door neighbor's name would scare a woman whose mother was institutionalized on her thirty-fifth birthday for dementia. It's easy to deceive ourselves though. The chest-pains? They're just indigestion. The forgetfulness? It's just because of a hectic schedule. Even this self-deceit shows us our similarity to our reptilian birth father. He, after all 'knows that his time is short' but rages away against God and his Christ anyway (Rev. 12:12).


But the New Testament addresses former Satan-imagers with good news. It's not just that we have a stay of execution, a suspension of doom. It's not simply that those who trust in Christ have found a refuge, a safe place, or a foster home. All those in Christ, Paul argues, have received sonship. We are now 'Abraham's offspring' (Gal. 3:29). Within this household - the tribal family of Abraham - all those who are in Christ have found a home through the adopting power of God."

Adopted For Life- Russell D. Moore

(Pages. 25-26, 29-30)

Lessons Learned While We Wait

Sometimes the wait feels excruciating and we haven't even begun this process yet. Every adoption story is different and I would assume that most stories begin years before an application is ever sent. Just like the desire for a biological child begins to stir in the heart of a parent so does the desire to bring your child home who may live halfway across the world. There is a longing, an ache. You know in your heart that your family would not be complete if you don't pursue this calling. For our family, this wait has already seemed long.

Jon and I graduated from college and less than a year later were engaged. As we began to talk about our future we both knew God would call us to adopt. We just had no idea what that would look like.

"Wait for the Lord..."

We got married in 2006 and a few years into our marriage we began to feel a stirring to add to our family so we started to look into adoption. As we talked through the calling God had placed on our lives it was clear he was calling us to bring home a daughter from India. So as I began to research adopting from that specific country I was dismayed to see every program specify age for the adoptive parents. We weren't even close to being old enough. So...we waited.

"...be strong..."

The Lord blessed us with a son in 2010. Our lives were quickly turned upside down like all families who welcome a child for the first time. We welcomed a new normal for our family and ran with it. Less than a year after our son's birth we packed up and moved to a new city as Jon pursued God's calling to full time ministry. In the midst of getting settled in a new place something else began to stir in us.

During the fall of 2011 God began to quicken our hearts to pursue adoption. We began fasting and praying. God very clearly said yes but Jon felt a strong leading to prepare our finances first. We had a large amount of credit card debt resulting from the financial strain we felt after having our son. Our job situation was rough at that time and we hardly had enough to make ends meet. Jon felt compelled that we should honor God by hammering away at that debt before even thinking about raising money for an adoption. So following Jon's leading, God opened up a part-time job for me. Currently my paychecks are steadily paying off our debt. In a matter 4 months we have paid off almost half of our credit card debt! Praise the Lord!!

"...and take heart and wait for the Lord." - Psalm 27:14

Currently, that is where we stand. We are waiting again although it is a wait with a purpose. God is moving and we are being obedient to his leading. However, as I think of this wait I can't help but realize that our lives as Christians are in this same waiting pattern. Christ has come to ransom a world for himself. He has completed his work as Savior by living a perfect life, dying on the cross and rising from the dead allowing those who put their faith in him to have forgiveness of their sins and eternal life. Amen, the work as been done. However we still wait.

"Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him." - Hebrews 9:27-28

We live in a broken world. We still struggle with sin in our own lives as we strive to live a life of holiness. Our hearts ache for more. We see that our desires cannot be fulfilled in this world. Our aching, our groaning is for the return of our God. Our ache is to see the face of our Savior and to worship him for eternity, to experience that unbroken fellowship with God that we were made to enjoy. We ache for our own adoption. Yes Lord, come!! So just like our adoption journey involves a purposeful waiting period so does our walk with the Lord. We are waiting for the completion of God's work but we have been given work to do while we wait.Our debt has been paid but so many others live without Christ. Our lives have been ransomed but we still often live like they belong to us. There is much work to be done as we wait, so we wait in expectation knowing that what is to come is better than what we could have ever imagined.

"...we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redeemed of our bodies." - Romans 8:23b

Where to begin...

We're adopting! Well, currently we haven't started any paperwork but the word from God has been quite clear on this subject. The call to adopt has been heavy on my heart for years, even before we were blessed with our son. Although the desire was present God's confirmation was never clear until a few months ago. In November 2011 on Orphan Sunday God fiercely began to stir up these buried emotions. After church Jon and I began talking about adoption and we both felt that God brought this up again for a reason and we agreed to begin seeking the Lord's will through prayer as well as fasting.

As we prayed God continued to confirm this desire, through his word and even through random conversations. I remember one specific day when I had a phone call with my sister Samantha. I shared with her this stirring in my heart and for a second there was silence, then Samantha told me that God had led her to pray specifically for our family concerning adoption back in October. It's so crazy when you begin to see God's hand weaving a story together. Something is happening and all I can say is that is it bigger then me.

Near the middle of November Jon and I talked more specifically about adoption. Our finances are in a great spot right now but around the time Aiden was born we got into credit card debt due to our job situation. As we discussed our options we agreed that we need to truly honor God in our finances and this debt was standing in our way. The stupid credit card debt was keeping me from bringing my child home and I was not about to let that be the case so...I began praying that God would provide a part time job.

December came and went, January roared in with a family crisis when Jon's brother Andrew was in a serious car accident. That situation encompassed our lives so adoption quickly was put on the back burner. Through a random connection at church I began hearing of a possible part time job opening so I handed in my resume followed by weeks of well...nothing. Then in February, on my birthday actually I got a phone call and an offer to work at a Children's Crisis Unit as a part time employee. Praise God for his goodness and provision!

As it stands right now we have made two payments toward our debt and seeing the numbers dwindle down is more then exciting! With all of my income getting funneled in that direction we are beginning to see progress. Despite the progress and especially knowing how easy it is for me to get carried away by my emotions I am reminded even now to be praying for wisdom. I am continuing to pray for God's will and timing with the full knowledge that he could call us to begin the process tomorrow whether we feel it is the "right time" or not. I am so ready to bring our little girl home. I know we have been called to this and we choose to walk in obedience, no matter the cost.